Phuket: Lady boy nip slips, Phi Phi Princess, dinosaurs, and Asian Elvis

Thursday, January 26th

We awoke early in our hostel in Phuket to take a boat tour of Phi Phi island. Before I begin to explain this trip, let's take a moment to reflect on the awkward names of cities in Thailand. First of all, there's obviously Bangkok. Phuket looks like it could be pronounced as "fuck-it", but is actually pronounced "poo-ket". Then, off of Phuket island is a smaller island called Phi Phi island that is pronounced "pee pee". Yes, I absolutely bought a shirt that says " I <3 Phi Phi".

A van picked us up from our hostel and drove us to the dock. Although Phuket is an island, it's HUGE! You would hardly know it actually was an island. We got on a giant boat filled with many other tourists, mostly from Europe and China.

 

The last few pictures were taken at the same place Leonardo DiCaprio's movie, The Beach, was filmed. We stopped and anchored the boat to go snorkeling, then later anchored again and took kayaks out to Monkey Island, where we fed monkeys. 


Once we got on Phi Phi island, we ate lunch at "Phi Phi Princess", which is probably the best name for a dining establishment OF ALL TIME. Oh, and then a monkey in a diaper sat on me.

Once our boat tour finished late afternoon, we booked tickets to see Simon Cabaret. Don't forget which country I traveled in - Thailand. So, was this a normal Cabaret? Ha. Absolutely not. It was a LADY BOY Cabaret. All dancers were dudes... or at least were dudes at one point.

ALL of those people in the picture were dudes at some point in their life. Well, minus me, of course. The cabaret itself wasn't that good - many of the dances were kind of lame and they of course lip synced the entire thing. There was a performance of the classic song, "Barbie Girl", that brought the audience to tears with it's intricate beauty and symbolism.  One ... person (? I'm not sure whether to label them men or women...some of them still were pretty man-like) had one of those halfsies outfits where he had half a wig, half a dress, half girl- makeup, and half a suit and half short hair. He'd turn around to switch between the man and woman part. After a bit, the "he" half started groping the "she" half and the "she" half swatted away the "he" half. Mindfuck.


Here's a youtube video of the same song and performance, though this person isn't Thai (Vietnamese, I'm guessing). It's basically the same act.

There was a nip-slip in one of the acts. Is it inappropriate if a person, who once was a man and now has  breast implants, shows his/her nipple? Is it dude nipple or lady nipple? I'm sure this is something that Confucius, Plato, and other great philosophers have philosophized very philosophically about for a long time.


Friday, January 27th
After our ladyboy cabaret and boat tour, we decided to have a relaxing day on the beach. We rented a scooter and drove around the island. We ran out of gas, so we had to purchase gas out of a bottle on the side of the road. Interesting...

After the beach, we went to the most amazing restaurant (better than Phi Phi Princess, if you can believe that)... DINOSAUR THEMED RESTAURANT. OMGSOAWESOME.

Unfortunately, the food was not dinosaur shaped. Actually, it was just super expensive. The waiters did have to wear Fred Flinstone costumes though.

On the way to the dinosaur restaurant, we drove past another restaurant with an Elvis impersonator singing. An ASIAN Elvis impersonator. HECK YES.

Saturday, January 28th
We spent our final full day in Phuket on another organized boat trip and tour. We first stopped at some temples and caves, where surprise! Lots of (apparently rabies infested?) monkeys!

Also, some Thai people apparently keep monkeys as pets...? I want one!

More boat tour pictures:

The last few pictures were taken at "James Bond Island." It's called that because the movie, "The Man With the Golden Gun" was filmed here. Check it out:

Sunday, January 29th
Our last day in Phuket. We didn't have time to do much else than get on our plane and fly back to Bangkok. We decided to spend out last night in Thailand partying it up in Asia's notorious "sin city". I have to say, the night life is much tamer than I thought - no crazy parties (that we saw), no lady boys... just a bunch of 50 year old white dudes with their 20 year old Thai wives sitting around the dance floor. 


Monday, January 30th
We flew back to Taiwan. WAHHHHH. This could possibly be my last Asian vacation while I'm here, so I'm glad I had a great time.