I lost my wallet.
I went out for dinner and drinks for my ex-roommate's going away party last night, and a friend of mine and I decided to later partake in a night out at the very classy establishment, WAX. Sometime between pulling out my wallet for the bouncer and throwing my purse in the locker (approximately 2.3 minutes) I lost my wallet. When I was about to leave at 2am, I opened the locker and couldn't find my wallet anywhere.
It's not like it contained anything really important. Just my American credit card, Taiwanese bank card, my Alien Residency card, and the rest of the cash I needed until payday. You know, nothing important at all.
I had to borrow 1000$ (approximate 35$US) from my friend so I could take a cab home and now I'm figuring out how to last on what's left of that until payday. I'm still hoping the club will call me today telling me someone found my wallet, but chances are slim. Most of the money will be going to food, since literally the only edible things in my apartment are the following:
- soy sauce
- peanut butter
- vodka
Not a well balanced diet.
| Where does vodka fit in here?? |
This is actually a lie, since I realized today I hid away some food in my zombie apocalypse kit in case zombies invade Taipei. I strategically bought only food I think is nasty, so I wouldn't be tempted to eat it, but if the zombies came I would. Mostly I just have craisins.
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| Who eats this shit anyway? |
I broke into the zombie apocalypse kit though because desperate times call for desperate measures. I ask any zombies reading this blog to please postpone their invasion until my supplies can be replenished. Also, can cats turn into zombies? I really hope not. Potato would make a freaky one-eyed cat zombie.
This wallet incident has great timing too, since I'm going to Africa in about 3 weeks. Luckily, I did finally get all my immunizations. I hope I meet lots of people with Yellow Fever, Typhoid, Tetanus, Diphtheria, Meningitis, Hepatitis A, Hepatitis B, and/or Malaria so I can laugh in their faces with my immunities.
In other recent news, I accidentally got... wait for it.... Asian bangs.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I went to the salon, where my stylist knew very little English. I had someone call in advance to tell them what I wanted. The stylist made a "snip" motion with her fingers and I said "bu yao, bu yao" (I don't want, I don't want). She asked again, saying, "only a little?" "BU YAO." "Please? A little?" "Ok, fine." Snip, snip, snip, there goes my bangs. And my dignity. Now I have straight across bangs, a la 12 year old girl style.
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| Pedobear approves |
So not only am I broke, wallet-less, ID-less, vulnerable to zombie attacks, but I now look like a wanna-be Asian or a wanna-be 12 year old girl. At least I won't get meningitis when the zombies come...
